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Posts Tagged ‘care’

The Stresses of Language

Written by Ganz Ferrance on . Posted in Blog

Stresses of Language

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The Kindness Diet
Experiencing kindness and acceptance is actually the best and most efficient place to start when making a change. When you can accept yourself the way you currently are (and feel that from others), your whole physiology and nervous system relax. This gives you the emotional and hormone profile that makes any change much easier. It’s basically the anti-stress formula. The opposite is also true.

The Invisible Rule Book

Written by Ganz Ferrance on . Posted in Blog

profilepicHave you ever felt as though you were living by someone else’s rule book?  You have probably never seen the book.  It keeps just out of your reach in some obscure alternate reality but somehow still seems to have control over your life.  The truth is, I’ve never seen this rulebook either, but we have all certainly felt the effects of its invisible writings.  Not a single person on this earth can say that they have never been affected by this invisible rule book, not even me. Believe it or not even I have often sought the help of therapists to help overcome obstacles.  After all, if we don’t have the core emotional foundation to apply the decision it is very difficult to put into practice.  As I mentioned before, it is nearly, if not entirely, impossible to change something that we may not even be aware is affecting us let alone be able to produce the solution and implement it all on our own.  Even professionals need help stepping outside of themselves to evaluate their relationships, life circumstances and emotional well being.  I still have therapists and professionals in my life that help me move forward faster in my life.  It is through embodied experience, not just head knowledge, that I share the Cascade of Care model with you. At the point when we realize that the invisible rule book can only affect us if we let it, things begin to shift.  Many of these changes will be for the good but sometimes the changes can lead to difficulties, particularly within the relationships that we have lost ourselves in.  These relationships can be with extended family, friends, even marriage relationships.  When we start to implement our Cascade of Care and set our boundaries we sometimes need to leave those relationships.  It is what is best for the other person as well as for us. If we want to move forward we have to live by our own rule book, not the invisible rule books of others.  We need to set boundaries and be consistent with them.  This will lead to some difficult decisions but, with the right help, we must make those decisions and stick to our boundaries.    

3 Strategies to DeStress Your Relationships

Written by Ganz Ferrance on . Posted in Blog

winterblueEver notice how frustrated and Stressed-out you get when your relationships aren’t running smoothly. It’s bad when it happens at work and even worse when you have to deal with it in your personal life. In the past 20 years of helping people DeStress I’ve found several things that can make a huge difference. Here are three that I know will help you make all your relationships more fun and far less work.
 
1. Don’t make assumptions – make agreements.
 
Don’t assume that people know what you mean when you say something – or even worse, that they know what you want when you ask for something. THEY DON’T!! I’ve seen couples (and been part of couples) where both assume conflicting things and seen the fireworks fly when a simple discussion and some clarity could totally change their relationship. I’m a huge believer in two things: Being Specific, and Being Explicit. If you make your communication and agreements this way you cut through all the stuff you have floating through your head at any given moment and get right to what each of you needs. It’s also a great idea to double check that you are both on the same page (repeat what you understand or ask them to) and then write it down so neither of you forget.
 
2. Keep your agreements OR renegotiate.
 
Once you have an agreement then KEEP IT!! Nothing causes doubt and stress in a relationship like broken agreements. If you can’t keep your agreement then let the other person know as soon as you realize there is going to be a problem (or as soon as you can after if you can’t tell them before). By the way, there is no agreement too small to honor. This goes for being on time or remembering to pick up milk at the store. Whether It doesn’t matter if you’re dealing with workplace issues or coming back from infidelity, being faithful in the little things may not always be commented on, but it kills the trust when you’re not! So his means that if you say you will be home at 6:00, there’s a huge difference between 5:55 and 6:05.

 3. Learn to give a great apology.

 Some people still have the old beliefs that saying sorry makes you look weak. This is exactly opposite from the truth. People respect people who have the backbone to take responsibility for their actions, and how those actions effect others. You actually look week and scared (or arrogant and stubborn) when you don’t apologize appropriately. This makes you very hard to get along with. If I step on your toes while trying to give you a gift, my intention is to do something nice – but the result is that I hurt you. That deserves an apology even if I didn’t mean to do it. The thing about giving a great apology is that timing is everything. Lots of people try to explain what happened while they apologize (or worse, instead of apologizing). This comes off like you justifying or trying to weasel out of taking responsibility. (And DEFINITELY don’t try to make it their fault! Then you look like a complete jerk.) The point of apologizing is to acknowledge that your actions hurt the other person in some way and taking responsibility for that. If they ask for more information then it’s ok to give it. Or you can explain things later (with their permission). But in most cases say “I’m so sorry for hurting you by….” And then shut up!
 
These strategies will make a huge difference in DeStressing your life and helping you enjoy better relationships at work and at home.
 
 

 

Chartered Dilema

Written by Ganz Ferrance on . Posted in Blog

CANADIAN DIABETES ASSOCIATION - Diabetes Charter for CanadaOne of our Tweed Free Revolutionaries recently watched the latest Alberta Primetime Lifestyle segment that I was on.  One of the topics we discussed that day was the Diabetes Charter.  She sent me this email in response to that discussion.  Please take a moment to watch the segment and then read the response.  I’d love for you to share your feedback with our fellow Revolutionaries on @DrGanzFerrance and GanzFerrance.
 
Dr. Ganz,
I just finished watching the last Alberta Primetime segment you were on.  The portion about the Diabetes Charter caught my attention and I wanted to share my perspective of it with you.  I hope you don’t mind but, here is the response I had to the discussion, in point form:
  1. Donna mentions that the rate of Type 2 has doubled and indicates it all due to obesity. I’m not obese but was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes 4 years ago. The heredity of it through both my mother’s and father’s side of the family seems to have been against me. I have always been active, even trained as an Olympic athlete, and still have the disease.  I think we need to stop automatically assuming Type 2 people are irresponsible “fatsos” that deserve what they got.
  2. Anyone that has diabetes has more than enough information, education and resources at their disposal to manage it properly.  Unfortunately, that group of irresponsible people mentioned above have lead people to believe we don’t utilize what we have at our disposal or that we don’t have enough resources to effectively monitor our condition.  I regularly get offers for free blood glucose machines, I can see a dietician anytime I want, there is a Diabetes nurse that operates out of my Doctor’s office, there are city programs I can utilize for training and exercise programs because I’m diabetic, etc.  No the lancettes and strips are not covered automatically.  However, if you have a drug plan at work or are on AISH or pension, you can recover most, if not all, of these expenses.  The same is true of the medications that may be needed to help control blood sugar levels.  There are also programs that can be accessed at health clinics, government, and non-profit organizations that will help cover these costs if you are not financially able to.
  3. You are absolutely correct when you say that the Charter doesn’t take individual responsibility into consideration.  My disease is not the responsibility of the government, it is mine.  I exercise three times a week minimum, and try my best to watch my diet. When I fall off the wagon I know it, and so does my doctor.  As you can see from my above points, the government is already taking a large role and financial responsibility in the education and treatment of Diabetes.  The notion of everything, including our health, needing to be legislated is crazy. 
The truth is there are many of us who do try to take care of ourselves.  When I tell people I’m diabetic, they don’t believe me. I am constantly being told that I don’t “look like a Diabetic”. Even the brochures and other resources have overweight people all over them. You don’t have to be obese or even overweight to be a diabetic.  We certainly don’t need a charter telling the government to take more responsibility for us.  What we need is for the few to stop being the voice of the many.  If my Aunt is going to be our spokesperson, I will never admit to being diabetic again.  I will deal with it secretly to preserve my dignity
I recognize that this seems a bit hard hearted but, the reality is I have lived around people with chronic illness for a large portion of my life.  Just about every relative I can remember ever knowing has had Diabetes.  Most of them passed away due to complications arising from the disease.  Not because they didn’t have the information or resources but, because they chose not to care for themselves properly.  I don’t believe this is the case for every Diabetic and I certainly don’t believe that the government can force us to care better for ourselves.  That is something we have to want and choose.  No charter or legislation will ever change the fact that people must first want to be better themselves before they can be helped for the better. 
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